A regular from my bar suicided yesterday....

posted by jeremy on May 16, 2006

I know nothing of her except that her friends loved... love her. No-one seems to know why she did it. She had dinner with folks just the night before. Everything seemed fine. Where do these options, these choices, these dark spaces come from? Lumbering behind eyes unseen except by those who finally relent to whatever pressure drives them from this world, from our lives?

Whatever peace she sought... I hope it holds her now.

Out there somewhere butterfly wings are beginning to churn out the rube goldberg-like series of events that bring us cyclones, hurricanes, motherfucking storms... Anticipation & not a little dread begins stirring in our midnight minds. Are you gonna stay? Where you gonna evac to? are more & more oft-asked questions. Yes, we are all beginning to get a little worried but we are also New Orleanians... We are beginning to plan the details of our parties, our evac hurrahs, our laughing fuck-you's to bully bitch-ass storms.

I did dream last night, for hours it seemed, of evacuating. I had to borrow my friend Christine's Mini, tear thru and around traffic, throw my shit together, look for friends, avoid my apt's fridge which had suddenly become a Jeremy-eating monster for some reason, find matching socks and then decide which route to take out of town. It was essentially an amazing pain in the ass. I woke up thinking screw that, I'm staying. But really, I still don't know. There are many factors at play here but mostly I guess, if enough people stay that I know, whom I can band up with... I'm going to stick around and see what's what.