I do not live here, this is not my land, this is not my time.
posted by nate on July 05, 2004
The quick and mutinous chatter of friends at a barbeque I attended earlier continues to rattle in my head. The multitude tragedies being relayed as a product of our insanely rich government leaders doggedly acting on their oil-lubricated agenda. The blatant and thin lies spread by our ridiculous media, sending our nation to war.. Hearing the silencing, destroying & eventual murder of the author of The Fortunate Son, which (Gasp!) criticized Bush a little too much in a too-critical moment. The agenda was being established. It was in early stages. There is no allowing interference.
Fahrenheit 9/11 comes into the discussion, and how the repugnicans are spending tons of money to smear Michael Moore's name in order to diminish the impact of his film. How they're trying to get Jackass classified as a documentary (which, how this will affect the public opinion on Fahrenheit 9/11 doesn't quite make sense to me). How Moore hired 3 lawyers and had the New York Times and the Democratic Review Board fact check his movie. (Three lawyers! Look out! A veritable wall of law!) It actually makes me finally ready to see the movie. I'd been avoiding it due to the fact I *know* I'll be depressed, angry, and feel futile as soon as I leave. Preaching to the converted, sure. But now I actually want to see it.
And my neighbors are out in the streets, squealing and lighting their own toy bombs. Downtown fireworks boom out and the kids cheer them on, with their mothers egging their excitement. They're so bubbling and overjoyed they call out to me for the first time since I've lived next to them in 8 months. "Do you want to come play with the fireworks?!" "UH, NO, UM.. UH, THANKS? I DON'T UH.." I want to say I don't give a fuck about fireworks, and it sickens me to think of what we're celebrating. The woman yells back something about not liking her.. ? I mumble and disappear inside, turn on the stereo and try to ignore the chaos. Independence, sure. America! Meat! Bombs! Has it always been this way?
My father gets worked up talking about Bush. He exclaims how they make it impossible to have pride in our nation. "They've stolen our pride!" he says. I'm not sure how to respond to this. I somewhat suspect it's a sentiment I cannot share because I lack the upbringing and experience my father has from an earlier time. My generation was on the cusp of a brewing pot of cynicism and disgust in our nation, government, leaders, history and general way of life. The generation following is certainly more detached from the concept of experiencing a sense of pride in the United States of America. It's preposterous! They have destroyed the possibility! Especially for those who have experienced the last 4 years in the heyday of youthful idealism! Imagine the hatred!
I mean, I can't even get my fucking teeth cleaned! All I could think about in the dentist chair while he rattled on what it would cost to have my teeth cleaned is how many bombs were being produced while he talked. Two images were simultaneously suspended in front of me: my teeth shining white with a dangling price tag of $2500; then immense bombs shooting through the sky, landing on rickety little foreign devil shacks, exploding into a sunburst of death, with a smokecloud of American bills, slowly fluttering to the ground. Fat men dancing under the bills, laughing and sneering, while pork fat drizzles down their cheeks.
And as the gods do their own laughing and sneering at their hysterical creation, a mad little ball of colorful explosions with whistling, hooting, clapping and screaming humans under an ever-darkening, polluted sky, I hide in my bedroom. Happy fourth of July!
