Tap the ash & keep smoking...

posted by jeremy on February 10, 2006

Sunlight shifts thru dirty windows, the sky as blue as I've ever seen it. The smell of catpiss & mold & smoke & dust... I read my book, sitting on an old chair in this dark basement & know I'm leaving here, soon or sooner & I ain't comin back. Not to this corner of the country, not for years... I drink beer. I think about where it is I'm going & I feel comfort in the fact that I'm afraid.

I'll miss this place, as difficult as I find it. Stumptown. PDX. What it is. Soft. Comfortable. Uneasily so. Too quiet. I miss the rowdy. I miss it now... & above all, I need to work. Simply must. To eat, drink, live. The matter of money. So I find my hand forced. I'm going to go someplace that was almost home. Nearly. Just there. Before it all imploded, exploded, drowned. But that it is as it is. I want now to find out what it is. What it's become. Soon now. I hope to find out.