ok, first, write me back because, i too, love hearing from you.

posted by jeremy on November 08, 2006

just tell goddam stories, tell me how it is. just ramble.

second... another friend, flirting with the big dark...

Dee-Dee: a 5ft bundle of joyous meaness whos worked the abbey ever since dina and sam fled the storm. dreaded busty punky cute girl, who used to be michelles best friend from youth (in lakeland, florida of all places, where my parents live now) til they had a falling out after katrina. i've grown to be good friends with dee-dee since i came back, spent hours talking shit with that girl, talking everything, loaning stuff back and forth, getting drunk together, helping each other thru rough spots, etc and all.... and then, last sat night, just as i was about to go on shift as bartender on one of the craziest nights of the year, people lined 3 deep at the bar, joe asked me if i had heard about her... no, i said. stroke, he tells me. coma, he says.

she had no pulse for 20 fucking minutes. shes only alive because her boyfriend christian did cpr till the medics showed.

she only had half a heart. one functioning valve and the other was artificial. she was the second person to ever have had this procedure done and the first one died. she is a lucky bird, sortve. she also had a brain op done when young and they had to implant a metal strip in her skull when closing up.... so now she cant have a MRI done and they cant discover the extent of the damage to her goddam brains. it would be like tossing tinfoil in a microwave. crackle. pop.

shes breathing on machines, mostly down in whatever dark... & yet she swims back up sometimes. blinks eyes in response to questions (once: yes. Twice: no) looks at you and seems to know who you are. the doctors are literally saying shes lost in her mind and its mostly up to her to fight her way back to this reality... from where-ever she is.

they say its simply up to her to find her way...

i ran into her boy tonight on the street. (christian: old school punk at 28 years. good heart. good mind. bad taste in thrash metal. a friend of mine.) he talked at me for 45 minutes, tears in his eyes the whole time. hes been with her or working every single minute since she went down. hes half out of his mind. just thinking about him, the twist and pain in his face, it just made me fucking cry, just now, just writing this. he fucking loves her and i know damn well she loves him...

and shes either gonna die or shes gonna live....

and even if she lives, she might not be dee-dee anymore. she might just be meat, breathing, just breathing. it takes 3 minutes for neuro-damage to occur after the heart stops pumping oxygen to the brain.... she was down for 20 to 25 minutes. she should be dead. she should be fucking dead. i guess we are all just counting on miracle number two: her waking up.

i dont wanna go to dee-dee's funeral and i dont want dee-dee catatonic.

i want the bitch back. she was just here. talking and cursing and throwing people out of the abbey. she was so goddam alive and now she sucks scant life and pain out of tubes....

we are so fucking fragile, beautiful idiot sacks of blood.

im scared for my friend, girl. i dont want that bitch to die. this sucks, sucks.

im getting fucked up just writing this. im sorry.