Dear Dee-Dee, I just heard what happened to you.

posted by jeremy on October 30, 2006

Yr sudden collapse, Christian at yr side... I heard that you goddam died & yet swam back, fought for more than just those what? 24 years?

I don't know much, none of the fine details... but I've heard this, heard yr locked in some kind of ugly darkness right now, pushed into a sleep you didn't ask for. Yr poor heart, kiddo, it finally pulled left & you slipped the other way. They say you had no pulse, no pulse for 20 minutes: & I don't know how you survived that cessation, that total lapse....

But, ice-slinger, tiny furious bartender, 5AM compatriot, I am glad, so fucking glad you did.

& yet, you sleep, pushed down by meds & a unknown range of neuro-damage. (All that fragile brilliant pulp locked in bone; It's so hard to really know, to believe that that's all there is to us, until hard luck knocks, makes it clear, illuminates exactly the parameters & importance of this stupid gorgeous flesh.)

But I've heard things look better than they could. That you respond. That you move toes & eyelids & seem to move up from where ever you are, where the rupture in yr brain took you, that busted vessel.

That you've got a shot in hell.

Baby, take that shot. Baby, we want you back. Baby, don't break our hearts.

Baby, you tough goddam bitch, of all the possible exits you find in that darkness, I'm hoping that you pick the one that comes back to us.

& I promise you we'll be here....

We'll be here waiting for you.