Another morning, slopping out lattes to yuppie tourist, police officers & of course, Johnny Knoxville....
posted by jeremy on November 26, 2004
But then, I realize, having just seen that atrocious chunk of aborted fetus, Walking Tall, that this guy is Johnny Knox...
He orders some omlettes & buys a couple of bottles of water. I'm the barista & I've still got nothing to do...
So this makes three celebrity sightings in the space of a week. A few days ago I was hanging out at a local venue called One Eyed Jacks, just drinking whiskey & shooting the shit with the bartender when all of a sudden she lapses into complete insanity...
"Joodlajoodlajoodlajoodla..." She excitedly garbles at me.
"What? What? What?" I inquest, utterly mystified & she responds, "Joodla, joodla!" pointing behind me. I turn, fearing the worst & then realizing, "Oh..." I say, "Right." & sure enough it is Jude Law, looking panicky as the crowd, gathered for the nights burlesque show, begins to create a growing chorus of his name, punctuated by fervent whispers... He turns around at this point & almost literally runs out the door. Poor bastard, I think & turn back to my drink. A few minutes later he returns, this time accompanied by Sean Penn & they both actually LOOK like movie stars. I learn from the tender (a sweet tough girl who lets me into the burlesque show for free ) that Ewan Macgregor ( did I spell that right? ) is already upstairs. Huh?
"An unholy trio of hot guy-flesh." as my friend would later phrase it.
& the moral of this story? Ummm, I guess it's that Johnny Knoxville is willing to pay way too fucking much for a ghetto-ass sysco breakfast. The poor sucker.
PS: this crappy tale was written in ten minutes on a chunk o shit linux box whose keyboard is so old the keys are nearly blank & six inches from my goddam ear, a WW2 veteran is telling his life story at full volume to a complete stranger. Well, to all of us sitting in this room actually.
Anyway, forgive me my sins.
